- Oct 16, 2017

THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING A WOMAN

Humans,

I'm starting to think these rant posts are more for me than they are for you. I saw a picture of me in some really cute heels and I was reminded how much I not only hate heels but would go as far to say that I wish they weren't invented, hear me out. This way when I am not wearing them, which would be always because they wouldn't exist I would look amazing and no one would ever know that

"Heels would really compliment her outfit"

Or that my legs could actually look longer and half decent if I had them on.

Problemo solved.

Here are some other annoying women bits & bobs that haunt me at least once a month.

HEELS

Ok they are extremely pretty and apparently beauty is pain but they can be a killer and are literally the worst part about dressing up whilst having the potential to ruin a whole night. Imagine a minor shoe can ruin a whole birthday or event for you, sigh.

You are spending money on heels for the to ruin your night, let that skin all the way in.

Solution: I only ever wear comfortable heels now. This has resulted in the loss of money via unworn shoes and a shoe rack with heels just sittin' pretty but I respect my feet more than I respect the opinion of people whom I do not know.

PERIOD PAINS

If these didn't result in the possibility of 'having an adorable little human'' in the way that they do I would be 100% more angry right now. I understand periods but I still cannot fathom the level of pain that comes with the ones I receive. It is a little unfair but I'm HOPING that the Universe will be sympathetic when it comes to the birth of my children because they know the near death experiences I have been suffering with since 12 years old.

Solution: My blog post on 'HEAVY PERIOD PAIN HACKS' is sittin' waiting for you to give it a click.

Side note: If I get to like 45 and ain't have no kids imma be PISSED that I went through all of that bloody pain for no reason :( (pun always intended)

DOUBLE STANDARDS

For anyone watching LAHHH right now a perfect example is Marcus still being married and then having a side piece, Brooke leaving him and exploring her friendship with Boobie. (Yes B & M, still love each other but yes she left him because she was hurt) and Marcus and the whole of the internet attempting to call her out and putting all of the blame on her when in fact if we rewind Marcus did what to start this?)

Are you guys calling him a 'hoe' too? :)

Also Brooke baby girl, you shouldn't even be allowing him to make you feel bad but that's what those double standard guys try and do 'flip the script' YAWN, grow up and apologise.

Anyway this is a personal pet peeve of mine and anyone who even attempts this whole double standards crap with me will receive a piece of my mind. Ladies do not ever ever let a guy try to use this on you, issa trap.

We can both cook, we can both pay, we can both look after OUR children cause keyword O-U-R and we can both put up the damn new wardrobe.

Solution: Check anyone with this silly mindset.

MAKE-UP

Make-up first of all, I love you. Watch my eyebrows and eyeliner go wrong for the next month for writing this post, please forgive me. Ok, I LOVE MAKE-UP, let me make that clear. Concealer is solely responsible for my confidence some days and 'Taupe' by Mac is one of the many loves of my life.

With that being said, the only thing that is more amazing than the love of makeup is if it didn't exist in the first place. Remember in year 6, when you had no makeup on (this won't apply to you fast gals) and you thought you were cute af, all you needed was a new sparkly top and some mid-calf high leather boots and you were on and poppin'.

I used to feel prettiest just looking like me. I don't wear make-up everyday or feel like I need it or that I am dreadful without it but I definitely don't feel as wonderful as I did in year 6 with my side fringe and au natural brows and didn't think that I could look like anything other than natural me.

side note: Beauty is supposed to enhance not change baby girls.

GENERAL FEMALE MAINTAINENCE

Eyebrow threading. KILLS.

Shaving, Waxing. Ok, but grows back in 0.2 seconds anyway.

Paint Nails? Nails end up chipped and ugly.

Acrylics? Your real nails will end up broken and weak.

Shellac? K, but why I gotta spend more £.

Hairdressers and all of that rubbish, I believe this is the reason mens favourite comfy outfit of the tracksuit is so expensive, if I'm spending money on all of this and your haircuts are minimum £, your money gotta go somewhere.

TRULY BELIEVING I HAVE NO CLOTHES DESPITE HAVING TOO MANY

Also posting most of my outfits on my blog so not trying to walk around looking like an exact blog picture.

And because yes I have clothes but they are just not what I want to wear right now, OK MUM?! (Mum, I know you're reading this, I just wrote that for a relatable effect, sorry love u)

Solution: I always try and put different pieces together in my wardrobe and wear them in a way I haven't before. Usually works but I do give myself an extra 40 mins of getting ready for this time, it usually takes a while.

HUSABAND PREP

People thinking you have to act, think and talk like you are preparing for a husband your whole life and you should be so lucky if anyone wants to marry you ha-ha-ha (when you type trash out loud and actually laugh to yourself).

Quick quest: Do any of the men reading this A. spend their whole life acting like they are hoping some lovely lady will someday do them the honour of making them a husband? B. Spend their whole life being told to act like they are hoping for some lovely lady to someday do them the honour of making a husband?

To conclude, I thought the f*ck not.

Solution: Do you mama.

BEING TOLD TO SMILE

Fun fact: I do not need to smile because I am a woman.

Another funner fact: I am obviously not wanting to smile on right now hence the 'NON-SMILE' on my face.

True statement: Do I know you?

Request: Leave me alone.

Solution: Do not smile.

Realistic solution: You'll props smile cause it will make you laugh then be annoyed at yourself for 'being told to smile'. or is that one just me?

Hope you guys liked todays post, bought to you by my hate for heels and love of ranting. If you enjoyed please give this a little Facebook like back at the top of the page.

I'll give you a minute

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Now I know you guys can relate to this post, drop me a comment below!