If there's one thing I am passionate about it's the upbringing of children. Every troubled person in this world was raised somewhere, by someone and had a certain kind of upbringing that lead them to be the person they are today.
I'll always show empathy to those who have had a tough up bringing and try to understand where they come from because unless we do that, we'll never really understand a persons journey and what exactly makes them the way they are today.
My passion for people started this blog, ever since a young age I've always been intrigued by people's stories and knowing there struggles. It left me using my imagination a lot, I would write stories and scripts just so I could map out the lives of my characters, where had they been? How many siblings did they have? What was their home life like? It's safe to say my creative writing was top notch.
Forward 15 years and I started this blog after realising just how similar us humans are and how much we don't notice it until someone stands up and says hey 'I'm socially awkward' and then slowly but surely the 'me too' possy congregate and then I feel great to be a human sharing a message to the world.
To link this back to the blog title, at around 20 I started seeing myself outside of myself. I think it's because I was away at University and was thrown into being around people who didn't already know how I was as a person and I started to think 'wow, I'm actually awkward' 'why do I hate talking to people?' and 'why am I so sh*t at making friends? That along with pretending to be confident left me to start thinking about how my upbringing made me into who I am now. I started looking at the root of my personality, beneath everything on the surface. I dipped into my subconscious.
Being sarcastic, making everything into a joke and not being the most affectionate person was apparently a defence mechanism, who would've thought it. There are obviously more serious things like anxiety and depression that linger around in the background of my life and then there are all of the people in the world who are a product of their environment including you and all of the things that you guys are dealing with too.
When you do this, when you look at who you are and why you are it helps you to think about why others are the way they are too, it helps us to be more understanding and to actually ask people about their own upbringings and experiences.
It's not always a bad thing, maybe your upbringing has made you open-minded, forgiving and generous but then there are people with unaddressed mental health issues, young girls with daddy issues, young boys craving a life on the street, people who can't address their emotions, people with terrible social anxiety and I think we all know this list could go on forever.
The sad part is that most of these people aren't really aware of why they are the way they are and if they are, I mean how easy is it to just get up and change with no motivation around you when no one is bothering to try and help you beat your demons. I read a tweet the other day that said something along the lines of, we are all so attached to our trauma that we don't really know how to exist without it. Think about it, these issues, your problems, your upbringing is all we know. We blame all of our bad behaviour and personality traits on these ways that have been following us around since childhood.
It kind of makes it easy for us to do sh*tty things without the guilt because we have the greatest excuse to go with it 'my trauma made me do it'. At what point do we rise up, look at how we are moving in society and the impact we are making. If there is anyone, anything or any way for you to try and address, accept and positively move on from your trauma, take it.
Remember that one day, you are going to raise a young King or Queen and by choosing not to acknowledge these behaviours we are just creating another little human that will go through the same experiences we did and who knows how they will turn out? Maybe they won't be as lucky. I don't think this journey of acceptance is an easy one but it's one that is worth it.
Do try and understand a person before passing judgement, or actually just do not pass judgement at all. It makes it so much easier when we really connect a persons behaviour and the reason behind it and we can only really connect the dots by talking about our childhoods and trying to move on from them whilst still having them be part of who we are.
Side note: I am really scared to have kids because I am so aware of the affects a negative upbringing can have. I worry that I'll be the mum that's 'too strict' or that I'll go a little overboard with the household rules. Luckily, I also know that love, compassion and care is the most important thing when raising my little wolves and I cannot wait to be a mother one day.
Shay RS x
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