I don't think I've had a 'best day of my life', I'm only 24 and I've learnt that life has it's Beyonce days and it's Trump days. Naturally I feel like I am supposed to say my graduation because gosh University was so incredibly hard and how dare I not mention my biggest achievement.
I felt proud but it was by far not my best day, my anxiety and stress were on 100, my aunt reminded around 10x that my dress was see through but naturally with no back up plan it was the dress or my birthday suit, I went with the former. My 'comfy' heels suddenly became death to walk in and I had to spend my evening at a graduation meal sipping my celebratory champers and smiling for 'family memories'. To top it all off, I had a migraine and for those of you who suffer too and know that a migraine isn't even nearly 'just a headache' then I'm sure you'll feel my pain. It's safe to say grad day had a huge pro and loads of little annoying cons.
As I strive to live a slower life every day, I like to try and focus on the smaller more meaningful moments. How much pressure is it for something to be a 'best day' anyway? I'm sure when I get married and have kids one day, I'll change my tune but for now I just appreciate the loads of little moments that make me happy and all of the captured memories on the polaroid camera.
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It's time to brighten up this post a little bit and if you're graduating soon I'm sorry if I have scarred you.
Here are some little life moments that I am grateful for
1. MUCH NEEDED GIRL TIME
I have the most amazing friends and cousins in the world. When we get together my energy is so high it can be exhausting just being around each other. I feel like a child who goes on a play date and is completely burnt out by the time they get home. That vibe we have, bouncing ideas and jokes off of each other, voicing our separate opinions boldly but never getting to that 'argument' level, I cherish it so much. I honestly over do it when I am with them, I can feel a headache coming on and my cheeks start hurting from laughing too much, but I am enjoying myself way too much to stop. We don't get together as often as I am sure we would like to and I'm a little glad because a girl has got to get some work done. It's so comforting being around people who just 'get you', you don't have to spend money, no ones trying to look pretty, you're just being your usual selves, using your ugly laugh and appreciating life.
2. BEING COMFORTED DURING SAD TIMES
A super rare moment that I appreciate greatly. When I'm not doing great and my mental health is crashing, I am the boss of appearing to be 'good thanks hun, you', no change in tone, no loss of eye contact, nothing. It's something I learnt from a young age, I wouldn't ever want to seem 'different' or 'sad' so I just got on with it and would avoid all personal questions with a quick sarky remark. It is safe to say I was a sassy 6 year old. Today, I still have this trait and it can be a blessing and a curse. There are two people who can break this barrier down with me quite easily for me and that is my Aunty Mert and cousin Rebecca. I hate being vulnerable and sad and crying in front of people because I truly break down and it's usually about 8 months worth of tears I've been holding in. How bloody good does it feel to let it all out and receive that reassuring hug that you never even knew you needed. So appreciated, top 2 feelings.
3. SEEING THE REWARDS OF YOUR HARD WORK
This one is super relevant to me right now. As a lot of you know I have been blogging for what is coming up two years now. After deciding to take the more professional route in the past 6 months which has included scheduling shoot days, responding to brands PR request, seeking collaboration opportunities and putting all of my funds and time into it, I am now seeing the rewards of my dedication. It makes it all feel worth it, all of those late-nights and all of those 'writers block' moments when I kept on pushing. I am forever grateful and I literally say thank-you every single day. Let this be a reminder that if you keep on working, it will all be worth it in the end.
4. TRYING SOMETHING NEW & LOVING IT
Half of me hates trying new things and the other half enjoys being spontaneous. That feeling when I pluck up the courage to try a new thing and fall in love is priceless. Most recently this was truffle fries and now I truffle everything, spinach, salad, you name it. 2 years ago I went on a zip line at Mystic Mountain in Jamaica, for someone who has a huge fear of heights, I felt insanely proud in that moment. Don't get me wrong I didn't love it, I was petrified but I loved that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. It makes you feel alive and limitless, it's all in the mind. It's a feeling that I need at least once a week. I think you should make a list of new things to try each year, even if it is something small, the feeling of falling in love with a new thing is so satisfying.
5. ATTENDING WEDDINGS
I am that weird person who would love to be invited to all weddings ever, I would probably be crying and trying to do a speech after a few champagnes too. I love weddings so if you're engaged and reading this, I'll be a seat filler if need be. The reason why weddings feel so euphoric is because the room is full with so much love and happiness, the positive energy just radiates through the room and lightens you up instantly. It's that fairytale moment you've been waiting for your whole life, even to those who don't believe in fairytales, it's that 'this is it, this is happiness' moment. For me a wedding day is about saying goodbye to your previous chapter and stepping boldly and elegantly into a new one and whether I know you personally or not I am always wishing a lifetime of happiness on this day. As an empath I truly take on the feelings of everyone around me and maybe all of joy I receive in my heart is the reason weddings are one of my favourite places to be.
6. FINDING A TV PROGRAMME THAT JUST GETS YOU
When I find a new series that is just 'really me', first of all, I am shocked that the writers are obviously in my head because everything about it is 'so me', the humour, the characters, the interactions. It feels so good to know that there are people out there who appreciate the same small details that you do, you get so invested in the characters and even though 'It's just a show', we're all still hoping that the Liars find out who A is and that Annalise Keating gets her license back. It's an even better feeling when you find people who love the same show as you, it brings people together like a good Michael Jackson album. I'll confess I am that majorly over invested person who finds it bitter sweet from the get go because I know that one day it'll come to an end and I'll be googling 'TV shows like Scandal'.
*tears*
Read about my must watch TV shows here
7. REMEMBERING WHY YOUR BEST FRIEND IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Oh this happens to me all of the time. I don't know about you and your besties but me and mine have been friends for 16 years. She is me and I am her, we can be found saying the same things at the same time, writing with similar hand writing and eating the exact same food, probably pasta... on a tray... in front of the TV... with an apple juice and a folded napkin. We talk almost every day and after 16 years of continuously choosing to share our lives together (romantic), my favourite moments is when we finish each others sentence, hurt our jaws from laughing too hard or when we realise we are thinking the same thing. That's when I'm like 'AAAAAHH, THAT'S WHY SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND', as if I had ever forgotten. It's such a lovely moment because in life you need that equally yoked person to send dumb memes to. In case you are wondering who this other me is, you can find her here @jesszz_day.
8. DRUNK CONVERSATIONS
Look I'm 24, I enjoy an evening drink with my favourite people and I will not be judged. Whether the conversations are actually as deep and meaningful as I think they are or whether we are just drunk talking sh*t, the moment feels magical and that's all that matters to me. Apparently a drunk conversation speaks sober thoughts or something like that, and I do personally hold back at times. Sometimes it's just conversations that just wouldn't have come about if I wasn't at that bar in Shoreditch, at that exact moment, ordering that 5th cocktail, on that exact night. The conversations just get real, we talk about our needs, wants, desires, hates, what makes us happy, what we regret and start speaking our futures into existence. Suddenly that life I'm about to live and all of my dreams don't feel so far away or hard to achieve, I become my own hype man and I'm about the be the best version of myself. It's a moment I appreciate so much because if it wasn't for those exact circumstances, and that decision to be 'on the rum tonight', that whole conversation and level of thought wouldn't have even existed and I think that's pretty amazing.
Well there you have it huns, I've kind of spilled my heart out to you for the second time this week and I hope you have enjoyed it. As always I love when you guys leave your thoughts on the post below. What moments mean the most to you and are there any you can relate to?
Love, Shay.
