When I think back to the 30 'close friends' I had as a teenager and all of the people I thought would be in my life forever, I laugh inside at the naivity. I love it because despite ya mum warning of you of this sudden drop in friends because they aren't actually all your real friends anyway, you walk past thinking you know it all and how could your ten closest gals from Math class not be your mates in 10 years? 'Go away Mum.'
But here we are. I wrote a post on the Evolution of friendship which you can read here. It was all about friendships grow and change over the years but the love is always there, those are the real relationships that stand the test of time, distance and vodka disagreements.
It was so easy to make friends when we were younger. You like Pizza, Pink & Movies too? Perfect, let's meet up. It was all bit too easy. The turning point usually takes place sometime after the 18th birthday when you start maturing, you're thinking about University or your career and suddenly everyone is doing their own thing. School is no longer holding you all captive and no longer holding you all together.
Like quite a lot of people change isn't my favourite thing in the world so I am the kind of person who will try and hold on to a relationship for as long as possible. If you're my friend I kind of wanna always check up every now and then even if we don't see each other and it's something I had been doing for years. More recently it has become apparent that despite my love for people built on old memories and old trust, we literally A. have nothing in coming B. don't actually know anything about each other anymore and C. should we just let this go?
I am such a nostalgic person that I'll just sit and think about happy memories all day. I'm either stuck in the past or living in the future, which is sometimes a problem because living in the moment is the place to be. Despite a longing for relationships that have dissolved like sugar in your tea not all of the bonds we make in this world are meant to last forever. I mean, how could they? Everyone I knew in secondary school would take up at least 5 tables at my wedding and I am not trying to be paying for all of those heads.
On a serious note, memories are a beautiful thing but they aren't reality. As humans we evolve, we change, we move on and with that comes the need to let people go. This doesn't mean not caring, or not wishing old friends well but that bond has served it's purpose and it you need to make space for new bonds.
Think about what we really took away from all of those past relationships. They 100% taught us some kind of life lesson whether we want to admit or not. The real purpose for those relationships were to show us about life, friendship, honesty, personality types, maybe money management or mental health. Either way we took something away from us that either made us a better person or taught a firm lesson about the kind of person we want to be.
If we were to be honest with ourselves would those people who we miss really fit into our lives now? Could we be doing the same things we were doing 10 years ago after moving on mentally and experiencing life the way we have today. The answer is probably no.
How we evolve as people is a beautiful thing. It is ok to let our desires and mindsets change and it's also ok to say goodbye to people who meant the absolute most to you at one time. We have the memories, we have the pictures and we that one dress that reminds us of 'that night'.
To all of the people I have loved and lost, I love and will always care about you and I hope I cross your mind from time to time.
Can you relate? Drop me a comment below.
Shay RS x
Twitter - shayrs_
Instagram - shay.rs