Shay avec Sammy, date night Southampton 2014.
No intro needed, let's talk dating.
Because the only thing that's harder than listening to this Kardashian pregnancy news is dating in 2017.
I've never been a dater because I'm more of a 'oh we're mates and now I like you cause I know your personality and my sarcasm hasn't scared you away so yes I will be your gf kind of girl'.
However I am aware of the struggles of dating and the even greater struggles of dating in 2017. Being a friend of the datees I am regularly ambushed with outfit ideas and screenshots leading up to said dates. It's always slightly awkward meeting up with someone you could potentially like for the first time. Speaking for all women here but we genuinely appreciate a guy actually choosing somewhere cute and telling us to be ready by 7:00pm. All of that 'whatever you wanna do' 'I don't mind' is all too laid-back because you see we need to pre-plan the whole date in our head before attending and I mean you can't do that with 20 mins notice.
'Fancy mini golf hun?'
'yeah sure, let me remove my stiletto heels and my red lip.'
Dates can be lovely though,
and then the bill comes, I love the whole 'WHO SHOULD PAY' DISCUSSION.
Mainly because it gets so heated and partly because it isn't that serious. I wrote a post on 'Double Standards in Relationships' where we touched on this subject but the feedback was very much divided between
"Why not go halves?You ate the food didn't you?"
"Pay, show me you can be the father to my kids."
Still seemingly a very touchy subject.
Online dating. So I know this really works for people but it is also is really creepy sometimes. All of the guys that would never ever dare approach you suddenly come out of the wood work and find themselves in your dms with the confidence of Trey Songz.
Me and my friend had the funniest experience once (Hi Manny, if you're reading this)
So I set up a profile for a laugh and my inbox looked a little something like this...
'Is it true what they say about black girls?'
'I would like to try some your chocolate sometime'
'You beautiful black chocolate Queen'
All by non-black guys might I not need to add.
Side note: 'HELLO' works absolute wonders.
Side sidenote: Well, what do they say about black women?
Dating in a relationship
Dating in a relationship, it's like dating to court without the stress of 'Will he/she like me?' In my relationship my boyfriend usually pays for the bill, not because I make him but because he likes to play that role in our relationship. I don't pretend to take out my card anymore. I do pay sometimes and it depends on who has, who wanted to go out to etc. However I have no problem paying or splitting the bill, that's not ever an issue.
You can do a lot more when dating in a relationship because there aren't any boundaries, next year I want to try and push the boat out with date ideas. Boat? Let me put that in my notes. Yes so I'll keep you guys updated with my spontaneous date ideas in the near future.
side note: If your boyfriend did this would you want to strangle him too? Mine does this embarrassing act of 'Hope my card doesn't decline' EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. we go out as some kind of joke. Although I know he's joking, the embarrassment will never ever ease up for me or the waiter standing next to us with the card machine looking awkward for him. He's a fool sometimes, lol.
*kicks under table*
I thought I would throw in some cute date ideas for you while we are on the subject
- Going to a concert together because nothing brings people together like the sweet sound of music or the beat of a grime track
- Cooking for someone at home or cooking together because food is life
- Going to a fancy restaurant, I have recommended some on my '5 BEST LONDON DATE NIGHTS' post
- Going to a museum together, cultured AF
- A weekend away, if you're that far into it
Have you guys had any funny online dating experiences? What did you think of my thoughts on dating? Leave me a comment below and please give this post a Facebook like at the top of the page if you weren't bored after the first sentence.
Shay RS x
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