Disclaimer: This not a guide on how to live with your boyfriend, and definitely not a 'what to do' blog post. Just a simple insight into my experience on living with mine for a year.
So as I heard about 300 times before going to University. 'University is one of the hardest times in your relationship.' They weren't lying but I know mine wasn't as hard as others because we moved to the same city and luckily got housed in the same accommodation for 1st year. He thinks I followed him to Southampton, I didn't but it was a major bonus.
At the end of 1st year it comes to that time where everyone is sorting out their accommodation for next year, neither of us are social butterflies so we're both kind of like, meh.
I did not want to live in a 10 bedroom house with 10 people, 5 of their partners, a cat, mice, mould and unhoovered floors. Picky, or just a student wanting a decent nights sleep? You decide.
We were just like 'Ok, let's make this simple, we'll move in together'. Yeah we're young, dumb and living off loans but also it is only for 1 year, surely we can't want to kill it each other in that space of time... we were wrong.
So there we were on Milton Road. It's so cliche that girls are tidy and care about the toilet seat being down, the rubbish being taken outside, the kitchen counters, plants, pillows, windows, floor boards and basically every single house detail ever.
My boyfriend is more like a 'Yeah, a house, cool. I'll tidy when I can, what's for dinner? too tired to take out the rubbish kind of guy.'
In all fairness he is also a 'let me run you a bath, do you need me to get you a cab, hold your hair when you're sick, I'm making dinner tonight' kind of boyfriend...
So yeah I think everyone balances themselves out. I'm an annoying pain in the ass quite regularly (unbiased blog post alert).
The day after we moved in I obviously went IKEA crazy, ran around for about 4 hours by myself (possibly a bad idea), ordered a cab and took home a car full of some things we needed and some other things we didn't. Shout out to student loan.
Once Sam came home to witness my masterpiece he was very happy with my final touches to our flat. Oh yeah it was one of those flats on top of another flat with 2 bedrooms (I thought it would be nicer to send him to the spare bedroom rather than the sofa after arguments, cause that's what you do when your partner annoys you. I've seen it in movies, it is a written rule.)
WHAT WENT WELL
I don't like being home alone so I loved having someone at home with me all the time and it wasn't just anyone it was my favourite person in the world. We got to know each other so much more. Living with someone really shows you the finest details about them.
We would stay up and talk about every single thing. The details of our childhood that we wouldn't bring up at dinner, why we are the way we are, our views on the world and stuff. We had in depth chats before but there was something comforting about talking about it in our own home, just the 2 of us at 4am.
I found out he was an amazing cook.
WHAT DIDN'T GO SO WELL
I would advise people to talk about every single house detail before moving in with someone. You need to know how they live and explain how you live so you can blend it into one. Then there's other important things like bills, shopping, maintenance and rent.
It can be really hard when you have been grown up and lived your life a certain way your whole life. Then this other person comes in with there own set ways of doing things. It can be difficult to stay on the same page but you need to discuss anything that is bothering you and don't let it boil up into anger.
We had some differences mixed with immaturity that was really inevitable at that time. We were just becoming ourselves at University. We both had different jobs that saw us spend little time together on weekends and we made new friends too.
We stopped spending those crucial times together because we confused 'quality time' as being in the same house.
Never stop doing the cute stuff.
WHAT WE LEARNT
That you need to talk to each other.
It is impossible to live in the same house as someone with low communication. Most decisions need to be discussed and it will be things much easier in the long run.
Just gonna leave this word here
I am somewhat tidy.
His version of tidy and mine are dissimilar lol.
WOULD WE DO IT AGAIN?
So it didn't end well, we broke up and moved back to London for the summer. Sad face.
I have to be real with you guys, it was the loveliest and the hardest at the same time.
That break up moulded our relationship into what it is now, so I wouldn't change not one thing.
Yes, I would do it again. Long term relationships are a commitment that will never be easy. We have really learnt each other. I don't think when we move in together again it will all be smooth sailing but I think we understand each other a lot better and we know what is expected of us by the other person. We have evolved so much since then, we can laugh about it now. I cannot wait to spend 4 hours in IKEA again.
Truly a great experience and I miss our cute little flat.
Have you ever lived with a partner? What were the biggest challenges you faced?
I may do a post on getting back together after a break up, comment below if you would be interested.
Shay RS x
Read my post on 'SURPRISE TRIP TO PARIS WITH MY BF'
Follow me on
Twitter - shayrs_
Instagram - shay.rs