'I am not confident but I'm an alright actor.' - Shay RS
We all talk about confidence like it is this effortless and cool way of living for the Rihanna's of the world. Not everyone is Rihanna. Sometimes I'm Beyonce when Single Ladies comes on but that's only occasion.
Confidence is something I practise daily, as naturally as it comes to some people, I am just not one of those people. In order for me to meet new people, network, understand people, push my photography business etc. I have to 1. engage in conversations and 2. be confident when doing so. I am still learning everyday but I am confident enough to share what I have learnt and what I am still learning with you.
My general mood in life is like, I'm only going to talk when I want to, sometimes I'm not 'being shy' I just don't care for meaningless conversations. This can sometimes come off as standoffish and so I am trying to do better. These days my thing is forcing myself to do the things I don't want to do. I go back and forth with myself 'Just say something, say something, now you idiot. ok... go.' "The weathers not bad today is it?" Then I crumble inside at the thought of trying to make small talk but hey the conversation usually flows from there and suddenly the encounter isn't so awkward anymore.
Go with the flow
I try to focus less on 'trying to be confident' and just going with the flow of life. Trying to come across as something you are not can be draining and I do not recommend that kind of stress on your soul. Don't be fake, just go with the flow.
If you wanna say something, say it.
If you wanna laugh out loud, laugh.
If you think your own joke is funny, laugh at it.
If you wanna share your story, do a YouTube video.
If you need to talk to a crowd, close your eyes, pretends no one is watching and let life take you.
At times we do need to be a little more confident than we actually are. I am the Queen of this in job interviews, I'm chatty, I ask about my interviewers day before spilling about mine. I make jokes, I smile a lot but most importantly I am pretending to be a comfortable version of myself in an uncomfortable situation, it makes perfect sense. I talk as if I am talking to a friend, in a polished version of course, your employer isn't only looking for someone who looks good on paper but they want to know that you can converse, be comfortable around people and most importantly be yourself.
Grow & glow
It was about 3 years ago I began working on my confidence and it is only this year I have seen a big improvement. Pretending to be confident has left me looking into the mirror smiling at the confident young lady I am. I have worked on understanding myself as a person, knowing what I enjoy, focusing my life on that and being a better person. The thing I am most confident about is who I am.
I'm loud, talkative yet quiet and shy, I like watching YouTube videos and taking pictures. I enjoy getting my own way, Headaches are apart of my weekly routine, I try to be a good person and my goal in life is to laugh every single day.
shay rs x