As I am searching for new blog topics I think about the people around me and their lives. What do people want to read about? What do people not know enough about? I am always trying to pick people’s brains and figure out what people actually want to read. I chose the topic 'The Truth About Young Mums' because I know a few people who have been through it and I know others will go through it, maybe they'll come across this blog one day and maybe it will help them.
Unfortunately there are a lot of stereotypes associated with young mothers. I wanted an honest view in this post because there are a lot of assumptions of the type of people who are young mums and the type of lives they live. I spoke to 4 young mums, an older mum who was a young mum some years ago and 3 current young mums.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
Rochelle: I was fully upset and scared for my future. I remember being sick for a couple of days and not going to sixth form. My mum must have thought something was up because she told me to get checked up at the clinic. I was sure I wasn't pregnant as I just had a recent period. To my surprise I walked out of the clinic head in hands, crying my eyes out on the phone to my mum. I literally thought my world had ended.
Laura: When I found out I was pregnant I was anxious and scared more than excited, I knew my partner didn’t want to have any children so telling him scared me. I couldn’t allow myself to be excited until I knew what the future held for me and my baby.
Nyesha: When I found out I was pregnant I was very scared but excited at the same time. I had no idea what I was getting myself in to, I didn't realise how much went into being a mother but I was quite confident that I was going to do whatever it took to be the best mother I could to my baby.
Rianna: It was very unexpected, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised because I know how babies are made. I wasn't scared at all but I was nervous to tell my boyfriend luckily his reaction was positive.
Did you plan your pregnancy?
Laura: I didn’t, If I knew how hard parenting is I probably would have waited a couple more years.
Nyesha: My pregnancy wasn't planned at the time of conception. Having suffered a major loss in the family I can honestly say I fell pregnant due to my careless mentality. Having been such a sensible teenager I never would of seen myself diverting from my original plan of attending college to having to tend for a baby. It was crazy.
What reactions did you get from people when they found out?
Laura: To be honest everyone’s reactions were great, no one was disappointed or gave me a hard time, actually that’s a lie. My sons dad’s family gave me a hard time. They had their own expectations for him so I understand it.
Rochelle: Most were shocked and surprised as I always said I wouldn't have a baby young. It's one of those things where I felt like when you are pregnant and young you don't hardly hear congratulations, all you hear is gossip.
What were your exceptions of being a young mum?
Laura: I thought I wouldn’t be to go out much and enjoy my youth. I thought my friends would be interested for 2 minutes and then disappear and I wouldn’t really have money for myself.
Rochelle: I thought it would be really fun, growing up with your child. Being a young mum would be more beneficial for her when she's older than me as a young mum lol. I knew it would be hard and get tiring but I did think it was all fun and games, sigh.
Rianna: I watched Teen Mom and Sixteen and Pregnant but when you see people pregnant around you, you only see the nice bits. You see a cute pregnant bump and they give birth to this beautiful baby. There is a lot more to it.
What was the reality of being a young mum?
Laura: It wasn’t as bad as my expectations. I can’t go out all the time but it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. My mum is amazing and is always willing to have my son if I need a break, I still have freedom. My friends are still my friends and have not left me. Yes all of my money goes on my son but I’ve learned that I don’t actually have to spend so much on him, he has enough and I have learnt to treat myself from time to time. No matter what age you are a mothers love is more powerful than anything.
Rianna: When everyone left the hospital, I looked at my son and I thought omg I actually have to look after this baby. No one tells you the blues you get after having a baby and how much it hurts when your milk comes in. After you have a baby you want to go to baby groups but a lot of the other mums are older and married, you feel a little bit left out.
Were you in a relationship when you fell pregnant? If Yes, did you feel supported by your partner at the time?
Laura: I didn’t which put a lot of strain on us, he didn’t want to have a baby and I did