Dear Humans,
Us ladies are really something special, regardless of your characteristics there are things we can all relate to just because we were born with boobs. We go through the same annoying things everyday in the female community and it is about time we laugh at them. No matter how unique you may be, you can definitely relate to some of these examples.
Being in a terrible mood while you are on your period and then someone says “Oh, it’s because you’re on.” Oh ok, so you want to unleash my inner devil tonight then? NO I AM JUST PISSED OFF BECAUSE I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING ON MY PERIOD. The next day you actually realise it could-have-probably-definitely was because you are on your period.
Finally getting your makeup to a somewhat mediocre standard and thinking you actually look pretty like your favourite YouTube guru. Attempting to take a selfie to showcase your new face and they look like garbage.
For those of us who aren’t skilled Makeup Artists, trying a ‘new look’ using new eyeshadow colours and a deeper lipstick shade etc. Thinking you will finally look somewhat different tonight but still looking the exact same since you were 6.
The next one is particularly close to my heart and particularly adds to my stress levels. I absolutely had to bring this up again! Sending your partner a lengthy paragraph explaining everything what has annoyed you and why it has annoyed you and he only responds to the last line. Please see example below…
Dear Kanye,
I am very unhappy with the way you have been treating me lately, I am your wife and I am not happy that I had to find out you are running for president at an award show with everyone else. North have been asking if you can be home more, I know you are at the studio but just a few nights a week wouldn’t hurt. Please can you stop calling out Jay Z and Beyonce, it has been hard enough trying to bond with them and you are just making the situation worse. I’m like embarrassed right now and I can’t even deal. Do you think you can get an Instagram soon? we need more followers and I think you have way too much to say on Twitter. I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I don’t think you are being very supportive. We need to be 50/50 in this relationship which brings me on to my next point. I respect your eye for detail but I want to be able to put some outfits together for myself, have you thrown out all of my coloured heels because I totally can’t find them anywhere?
EVERY GUYS RESPONSE:
Dear Kanye’s Wife,
Coloured heels are trash.
Kanye
The winged eyeliner and eyebrow effect. Perfecting your right brow and eyeliner and trying to replicate this on your left side, but actually looking like you’ve just played with your new crayons.
Wearing the coolest outfit of all time going to a really popular place and seeing -3 people. Stepping out real quick at 8am to pick up some bread in your house clothes and headscarf and seeing your entire class from school, your dads best friends girlfriend, Barack Obama, your ex husband and his mumma.
Meeting new best friends in a toilet on a night out, discussing make-up, Instagram, what makes the world go round and when you should meet up again. Never seeing them ever again.
Being single and being too lazy to shave your legs in the winter. #Relatable #Heaven
The hard decision of choosing to or wear a cute outfit or catch pneumonia. #ToughDecision #DoOrDie
Telling your best friend if you see the guy you like you swear you’ll ignore him because you are so over him.
2 hours later by the bar…
“I just love you so much, why do you ignore me? I want to be with you, why don’t you love me back?”
When your friend takes a picture of you and says ‘yeah, it looks cute.’ ‘No bitch, I want to look sexy.’
Planning to start yoga in the morning, go for a run, pop to the shop for healthy groceries, meditate, plan your business and go to sleep at 9pm.
Waking up two seconds late for yoga so actually laying in bed all day watching Nextflix until 2am with snacks.
Watching a cute programme, film or youtube clip and re-watching it around your boyfriend pretending you haven’t seen it before hoping that he will take mental notes. #Coincidence #HowRomanticBabe #NopeNeverSeenItBefore
Telling yourself you will never speak to him again, trying to make it work 396 times after that.
Be real ladies, how many of these can you relate, drop a number below? Let me know in the comments what other relatable posts you want to see from me. Have a good Monday, remember it is just another day.
Dear future husband, sorry but sometimes (quite frequently), I'll look like this.
Looking back through old pictures of my eyebrows wondering if my friends were really my friends?
I thought I looked nice today until I looked in the mirror.
Don't you just love being a female.
Last post on How to keep a man is here, thank me later.
With Love,
Shay RS x
