- Nov 30, 2016

HOW TO KEEP A MAN - ADVICE

Dear Ladies,

Thank me later.

Never talk down to him, a man always wants to feel like the man.

Always cook him dinner and serve him before you serve yourself.

Don’t follow other boys on social media.

Always buy exactly what he wants for birthdays and holidays, you have one shot.

Never kiss in public without his say so, you never know who he’s hiding you from.

Meet up with your girls a few times a month so he can have some spare time for his side chick.

Don’t tell your friends the disrespectful behaviour you are accepting in your relationship.

Be cool with his mum and family, even if they hate you.

Only post pictures of his hands or with his hood down, if he let’s you.

Have sex with him twice a day, once if he is seeing his side chick that day.

Allow him to seek relationship advice from thirsty females, they could really help him out (if you know what I mean) ;)

Don’t have any male best-friends, they are off limits.

Support his hopes, dreams and mixtape etc.

If he busies your call don’t call back for another couple of hours, he’s busy.

Don’t show him cute couples on YouTube, his side chick has already showed them to him.

If he presents you with a prenup, sign it.

Let his friends come over and help themselves to the fridge as they please.

When he says your moving mad, self-reflect on how mad you may actually be moving.

When he ignores you, keep yourself occupied until he comes back.

Be insecure so he knows he has you just where he wants you.

Don’t argue when he wants to celebrate Valentines on the 15th, he was busy. Ok?

Don’t drink or smoke, that’s obviously a mans thing.

Encourage him to leave you when you aren’t acting up to the part, he deserves better.

Live in the 19th Century where you belong.

I know you’re probably thinking

Yes, yes I am. That is where I am heading to as we speak.

I hope you enjoyed ladies! Obviously this is just a joke, this is no advice for a real healthy relationship and please don’t take it to heart lol. I do not have the answers on how to keep a man, nor do I think there are any. A man who doesn’t want to be kept won’t be.

I do encourage

love, honesty and happiness, everyday but here is some real advice.

When you send him a paragraph and he only replies to the last sentence, make sure you learn from your mistakes and send him sentence by sentence next time since he wanna be so petty. That way he has to reply! Sorry, but why does every single male do this? Comment if you can relate lol!

Ask him a question you already know the answer to and see if he is honestly going to lie to your face.

Check his tagged pictures.

Beef his mum if necessary (I’m totally joking, I couldn't help myself LOL)

Make him think he is wearing the trousers but actually be wearing the trousers ;)

Pretend you like the gift he tried so hard to get right, but got wrong. (loved the handbag babe, this isn't to you promise!)

Support his dreams, hopes and ideas.

Comment & Share if you enjoyed this post guys, thanks!