It's beautiful, the transition of not having any comprehension for people who need to eat before midday to all of a sudden waking up at sunrise to put together a plate of poached eggs on toast and freshly squeezed orange juice on a wooden tray with flowers from the porch to greet your love for the day.
'Good morning babe.'
Who even are you?
You get it now.
It doesn't matter if you 'do' breakfast, it matters that they do, and you do what you can to show appreciation, want and adoration.
Adoration - a feeling of deep love and respect.
This is their love language and although yours is physical touch and you haven't been near them in almost 3 days... long shifts, late nights and no loving, it doesn't matter, this is their love language and so you do it anyway.
The fast pace, swipe, meet, date and repeat culture is a vast change from what looking for love used to be. I'll forever be an advocate for love but let's not move too fast and miss the finer, more important details.
The 5 love languages have made it easier for us to communicate how we want to be loved, need to be loved and what is important to us in our relationships.
Quality time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation.
For me it's quality time, duh. I knew this but I took the test and it confirmed what my heart already longed for. When you've been in a relationship for a while you learn yourself. Does this gift make me happy? Or am I just appreciative whilst longing for a weekend spent together instead. Think.
I value quality time. I like to do the nothings together.
Saturday food shopping run, banging out new music together, showering together, grabbing breakfast because why the f not? Let's drink together on cosy evenings and get silly before bed. Netflix marathons are a must and a takeaway and Ben and Jerry's if we get hungry. Let's go for a walk, we've been in all day, let's stay out until 3am, let's treat ourselves to a fancy dinner or we could run boring errands together. Anything will do, not that it matters, I just want to be close to you.
This sounds needy.
I'm not needy. But are you something if you have to justify it?
I'm not, I don't need or want to do this all the time. I love my own space, independence and occasionally sleeping diagonally in my bed. But when we have our time, I want it to be our time and my urge for quality time to be heard.
Are you listening?
Independence - being strong and able to survive alone.
I'm independent. You can desire both.
And so you're rubbish at buying gifts but it's their love language, so you learn, make notes on your phone and pay attention to what they 'like' on Instagram because their love language is receiving gifts and you do what you can to show appreciation, want and adoration.
And so you cherish acts of service, you've had a busy week so he makes you you're favourite poached egg breakfast in bed, he's not a breakfast person, you absolutely are, embarrassingly so. So now it's your turn. You give him a massage, hold his hand in bed, slowly play with his beard and spoon on the sofa listening to his favourite album, he needs physical touch, craves it in fact and now it's your turn to give him what he needs.
Love is all about give and take. The art of love is a beautiful concept for those who want to learn it. Like in everything you need more than love. You need to care, be kind, respect, listen and put down your damn phone every now and again. The internet doesn't need you, life does.
This is the art of love. The makings of you.