25. A NEW VIBE.


Listening to: 'Binz - Solange'

I'm the daughter of British Caribbean parents. Lone wolf for 8 years soon turned protector and sissy-mama of three. I found escapism in my imagination and the media. Crooklyn, The Spice Girls and Julia Roberts movies helped me become the little blogger babe I am today. Music, film and fashion stole my heart and I've never looked back since.

I knew I would do something creative, something that would allow me to bring people into my ever evolving mind. A way to express the noise that just wouldn't shut up. "Surely, there's no one else thinking this. I know I am different." Literally my brain at 10 after thinking about the Universe and why world peace was so unachievable.

~ Creativity involves breaking established patterns ~

Here I am 25, mostly shocked that all of the adults I knew who were once 25 were obviously bullshitting their way through life but also feeling stuck.

I look at my only creative outlet and it's all so black and white, boring and uninspiring. I haven't pushed any boundaries, I haven't lived up to my greatest fear of being like everyone else and I haven't pushed myself creatively. My mind is a canvas of ideas, a scrapbook of pictures, colours, fonts, food, style and design but I haven't got past the first few pages.

In my head, if I just have more time, more money, go out more, do more, then all of my creative dreams will fall into place.

Spoiler: Bullshit.

I have been making excuses for a very long time. That's the whole point about creativity, it's everywhere and you don't need all of the above to do it. Get off of your ass and create the art you want to create, be yourself, write, rip materials, stick things down, edit, turn your dress into a skirt and get on with it.

Thoughts: This blazer is way too big. I wish I could take pictures of myself.

~ Alicante, 2019 listening to @zazaworldradio ~

I'm always inspired. I grab inspiration from fabrics, conversations, art work, music and all of the other great charms that life has to offer. Have you ever listened to a song and just wanted to move to a small farm and raise 5 kids? Listened to a Solange and felt like a carefree black woman even though you're a middle aged white man, cause same. Listened to a Cardi B and started feeling proud you made it out of the strip club, cause same.

@zazaworldradio is the outlet that I owe this blog post and end to creative procrastination to. I discovered it on a recent trip birthday trip to Alicante. Zaza is a radio show hosted by Kendall and Daniel, it's just them, listening to some feel good music and chatting to their friends about life, music, politics, women and more.

It made me feel like I was there too, in Malibu with the sun on my back in somebody's backyard listening to the music and chatting with my friends. They brought me into their world, even though I'm not a model, I'm not rich and I'm only a DJ in my head and at small family get togethers.

Listen: Zaza World Follow: @zazaworldradio

Some of the songs that spoke to me were Aretha Franklin - Day Dreaming, Outkast - Prototype and Fleetwood Mac - Albatross. If you're into alternative R&B, R&B, Soul and music that feeds your soul, this is for you. The old school vibe and laid back flow evoked nostalgic memories. It told me to create something that makes others feel the way Zaza made me feel, it felt like home.

Blazer - River Island from TK Maxx

Mules - Primark

Bag - Zara

So back to 2019 and A Seat With Shay. If you've been reading this blog for more than one second you can probably tell that I'm a bit of a planner, planning what content I am hoping to curate as opposed to actually delivering. This isn't a change in content just a further expression of self.

It's somewhat easy to take a picture and write a blog post, merge the two and post and some people kill it at doing this but on this corner of the internet things were looking a little stagnant. The creativity and the words didn't always make sense, it didn't always tell my story the right way. For example in these images I was craving sushi, thinking of ways to express myself authentically and feeling a little overwhelmed.

I want to bring you into my head. It's not going to be polished (it never has been), but I want to push myself to create more than just a blog, not what I see everyone else doing and not what I think will get views. I want it to be an extension of my mind, including more art, more creativity, more of a story as opposed to a blog post, an experience, an adventure.

Love, Shay.

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