If there is a secret handbook to all things relationships and love, no one I have ever known has read it. Perfect relationships are pretty much a figure of our imagine and a Disney film myth. Then there's that 'relationship goals' statement we use to describe relationships we really know nothing about, that's 2017 for you.
A closer look at these 'goals' show that
Oprah has no plans to marry partner of 31 years Steadman (which is fine)
Beyonce had to publicly put Becky in her place
Khloe Kardashian was living a double life
and Angelina and Brad? you get where I'm going with this.
Here are some common reasons relationships fail
"you's a lying cheater, son of a..."
The normality of cheating in a relationship is discouraging to believe and trust in anyone these days, I have known way too many relationships that have failed because of infidelity.
A man or woman who cannot control there sexual desires is a very weak minded person in my opinion and weak mindedness is so very unattractive.
Whether it's one time or an actual affair cheating is never ok. Excuses such as
'We weren't happy' 'we weren't being intimate' and my fave 'I was drunk' are non excuse, excuses. If you have an issue in your relationship there are literally two options
A. WORK THROUGH IT B. LEAVE
Love will always, always outweigh lust.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
My favourite topic to bring up on these relationships posts.
Why are so many of us terrible at communicating? I don't know if it can be blamed on the lack of communication in the world as a whole or people and there tendencies to think selfishly.
The problem with that is that it just creates this big brick wall between you and your partner that could be knocked down with an actual conversation and an expression of feelings.
Let's not downplay the importance of communication, it helps to build the bridge between thoughts and actuality.
It puts a pause on the
"Maybe he/she did that because..." Nope! Ask, get a response and then you won't have to assume.
"I'm feeling a little unsettled in this relationship atm but I won't say anything because..." How will things improve unless you voice your opinion?
Talking things out can save you a lifetime of assumptions and jumping to conclusions.
In trust there is no grey area, you either have it or you don't and it cannot be built over night. We usually bring our trust issues from previous life experiences into a relationship although I solely live by the idea that you should trust someone until they give you a reason not to.
Let's be real, we aren't going to trust someone we've just met with our life. That kind of trust definitely takes years to build but what I mean is that, we should trust what we are presented with.
If your partner says they are somewhere, doing something or explain their reasoning behind something trust them. Trust them until they show you why you shouldn't trust them.
...and vice versa, be honest and truthful in your union to build a persons trust. Also don't lie cause whatever is in the dark will always come to light and being caught out is mad embarrassing lol.
LACK OF RESPECT
At night I meditate on how I am going to teach my children to respect themselves and every single being on this earth. The thought of having a disrespectful child gives me actual nightmares, I just wanna raise my little humans right, you know.
Respect goes such a long way.
1. Treat people how you would like to be treated
2. Respect others and they will respect you
Respect is taught and I always take a mental note of how a person treats the people they already around them as an indication on how they will respect me in the future.
Unfortunately, a lot of people like to pretend in the 'honeymoon phase', life's a breeze when you are presenting someone with the best version of yourself for the first 3-6 months.
Then the real stuff kicks in and being in a committed relationship with a person who lacks respect for you can lead you feeling down, less than or even worse... having children who will pick up on their actions.
I'll be frank, it will make you feel like sh*t.
Respect yourselves and find someone who does the same Kings and Queens.
Hope you guys liked my little list of common reasons relationships fail. Hopefully you will take from this a better idea of things to focus on in a relationship and how to be treated in a relationship.
Thanks for reading, I love you guys and ya'll have got to stop reading my posts without dropping me a comment, I see the views lol. Please leave a 'FB' like at the top of the page.
Shay RS x
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